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sumeshblogs.rediffiland.com/
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Little Johny's thought
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: "Michael, if you were on a date--- having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" Michael said, "Just a minute, I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite." What about you Peter, how would you say it?" Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table." And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?" I would say, "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner." The teacher fainted. |
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Mixed Emotions
Soldier: "Sir, we are surrounded by the enemies",
Major: "Excellent ! We can now attack in any direction" !.
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What is the height of mixed emotions???
when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur Mercedes!!!!
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Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.
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bhikari : sahab ek rupiya de do.
Sahab : tumhe sharam nahi aati road par khade hokar bhikh mangte.
Bhikari : abe tere ek rupiye ke liye office kholu kya?
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Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything."
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Today a phone without wire is fashion.
One day will come when human without brain will be a fashion.
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The Wedding Test
Those who feel that,this story does not fit in this place please let me know.. Its just a joke nothing more than that...enjoy.. The Wedding Test:)
I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man
for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"
And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
Cheersssssss...... :-) :-) :-)
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WRONG NUMBER
Hi…
Do read this story . It’s very interesting. Nice 1… WRONG NUMBER
It was the day of my son's XII results and I was so tensed. I sat beside him while he logged on the website with his registration no. "Ma", he screamed in excitement," I scored 1191, with centum in 4 subjects. I cant believe it. "I kind of became numb in my excitement. My eyes became wet. I hugged him and he smiled.
Soon we realized that he stood first in the state. Oh, my joy knew no bounds when Reporters and media persons soon swamped my house for interviews and photos. I was so honored to join him in the snaps.
I wanted to call my "wrong-number-friend to tell him the news...I was so excited. He was someone whom I have known for more than 20 years. I still do not remember when we became friends, but certainly cannot forget the first day he called me when I blasted him for giving me so many wrong calls.....after that he had called up a week later asking apology, for he had now got the right no of his friend whom he wanted to talk to .We spoke for an hour that day...even without knowing each other's names. Though he kept pestering me to reveal my name I never did and so he kept a name...Sweety. I used to get so shy whenever he called me 'Sweety'. I was doing first year of BSc. Maths then, and he was a Computer Engineering student.
From then he used to call me very often.
By the final year of my college, we probably we were in love, but I had been cautious. I was in a dilemma whether to tell him. But what if he was of a different religion? Do I have the courage to talk to my parents about it? ........all these questions ran through my mind.
I decided I'll not talk to him thereafter. When he called next time I lied to him I that I was going to Delhi for my post graduation. He gave me his office number and asked me to ring him up once I reach there. I never called .......
A couple of months later my marriage got fixed with a guy of my parent's choice. I was not happy but I did not complain; rather accepted it as an obedient daughter. At times I felt I missed my wrong- number- friend.......
My hubby was a moody person; I have hardly spent any good time with him- but he was genuine indeed and never bothered my personal space. After 2 years we had
a boy...Yet,I was not very happy with my married life...One day I happened to browse through my diary and found I still had my old friend's office phone no
that he had given me. I dialed it and spoke with him. He said he was married and got a kid too. I was happy for him though in the bottom of the heart I felt bad
that I could not marry him.
From then I used to occasionally call him on that number. I never gave him mine as I felt that would put me in trouble... And till today I almost shared everything with him including my relationship with my hubby.....today I was so happy and I wanted to call him.
Just then I got a call. "Your husband met with an accident and died on the spot" I banged the phone down. I broke. I did not call my friend.....I somehow started feeling guilty. I have never tried to talk to him properly when he was alive or moved close with him.... I felt I had been a bad wife........
A couple of years passed and one day my son brought home a Bengali girl and said they wanted to get married. I got them married as I did not want my son to go through what I did. I decided to give my son his father's room and started clearing it. There was a phone book. I gently opened it to find, "Wrong no Sweety -26579785" God always puts the right numbers together. Its we who interpret it wrong!!!!! |
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Hercules: The World's Biggest Dog
Hercules: The World's Biggest Dog Ever According to Guinness World
Records
Hercules was recently awarded the honorable distinction of Worlds
Biggest Dog by Guinness World Records. Hercules is an English Mastiff
and has a 38 inch neck and weighs 282 pounds.
With "paws the size of softballs" (reports the Boston Herald), the
three-year-old monster is far larger and heavier than his breed's
standard 200lb. limit. Hercules owner Mr. Flynn says that Hercules
weight is natural and not induced by a bizarre diet: "I fed him normal
food and he just grew".... and grew. and grew. and grew.
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Apple......
A teacher teaching Maths to seven-year-old Arnav asked him, "If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"Within a few seconds Arnav replied confidently, "Four!" The dismayed teacher was expecting an effortless correct answer (three). She was disappointed. "Maybe the child did not listen properly," she thought. She repeated, "Arnav, listen carefully. If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?" Arnav had seen the disappointment on his teacher's face. He calculated again on his fingers. But within him he was also searching for the answer that will make the teacher happy. His search for the answer was not for the correct one, but the one that will make his teacher happy. This time hesitatingly he replied, "Four..." The disappointment stayed on the teacher's face. She remembered that Arnav liked strawberries. She thought maybe he doesn't like apples and that is making him loose focus. This time with an exaggerated excitement and twinkling in her eyes she asked, "If I give you one strawberry and one strawberry and one strawberry, then how many you will have?" Seeing the teacher happy, young Arnav calculated on his fingers again. There was no pressure on him, but a little on the teacher. She wanted her new approach to succeed. With a hesitating smile young Arnav enquired, "Three?" The teacher now had a victorious smile. Her approach had succeeded. She wanted to congratulate herself. But one last thing remained. Once again she asked him, "Now if I give you one apple and one apple and one more apple how many will you have?" Promptly Arnav answered, "Four!" The teacher was aghast. "How Arnav, how?" she demanded in a little stern and irritated voice. In a voice that was low and hesitating young Arnav replied, "Because I already have one apple in my bag." "When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect don't think they are wrong. There maybe an angle that you have not understood at all. You will have to listen and understand, but never listen with a predetermined notion."
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A NO SMOKING ZONE"!!!!
NO SMOKING | SMOKING…I don't remember how it started, was it just a curiosity to know the taste of it, to know how others feel after having it? Or how would I feel after having it but what I cannot forget is when I actually started with it. I still can see my friend enjoying the ultimate pleasure of it in front of me and then all of a sudden he insisted me to taste it just for once. I cannot deny the probability that he might have seen the desire in my eyes to taste it. Though I denied but by the time I was shaking my head in no-no manner he already had put the stick on my lips and with half hearted denial I took the first ever puff of it. Since then it's been years. I found a true friend in it, and why not… it was with me for everything I faced in my life. It was there to share everything. Whenever I was happy it added the flavor of happiness to it. When I was sad it helped me to get over it, It helped me to get out of stress, It helped me to avoid my loneliness. It helped me to think better, it took my worries away with its smoke; Infact I always had a reason to have it. Along with it I had a family who cared for me, friends to gossip and share the secrets, a job to fulfill my day to day needs, money to buy a couple of drinks along with sticks for me, a girl who became a synonym for love to me, aspirations to become big, dreams to chase, and many more such beautiful things that makes life beautiful. Life was as easy as 10 to 15 sticks I used to smoke those days. There were times when friends and family asked me to leave it. They scolded me, they did prayers just for me to quit one of my best friend. But how could I do that when I know that just one puff of it will give me eternal peace after such stupid useless, meaningless lectures to me. "Life is to live and one should do whatever you want, and I was doing it but I don't understand why everyone is against of my actions. I guess they don't know how to live. They just go with good / bad social opinions, but I go with my feelings" This is how I used to think at that time. But as a good son and a good friend I used to admire their feeling for me as well. To give full respect to their feeling I often said "I will quit", but the wish never came from my heart. They said I can do it…I just need a strong will and "Where there is a will there is a way" but within me I knew that "my WILLS power is more than my will power" and as a result of it I restructured the quote according to me – "WHERE THERE IS WILL THERE IS A WILLS" ('Wills navy cut' my brand that time, later I tried many and as a milestone of success I switched to gold flake then classic, Marlboro and many such good brands that themselves depicts my good growth personally as well as professionally. If I look around I see all of them who were near and dear to me, just wanting me to live, but I chose a different path to live better. I still can see me smiling, swelling with pride when someone asked me to leave cigarette and I countered back "TO LEAVE CIGRETTE I NEED TO THINK AND TO THINK I NEED A CIGRETTE". People say IT KILLS, and I too understand it, but I have seen people who smoke daily and regularly, still living long comfortable life. It just a matter of bad luck if someone gets health issues out of this HABIT "you may call it BAD". I just want to live the way I want and I am happy with it. I believe that not everyone is destined to meet the same fate. While proving to myself that whatever I am doing is actually not wrong I simply forgot one thing that I too am a character of destiny and it may get cruel to anyone and it has its own way to play. Only Reply I used to get for my logics was…"One should avoid such things that may create circumstances and may give destiny a chance to play cruel". I didn't realize it… I didn't realize when I crossed the line from passion to addiction. I didn't realize it when I had my first chest pain. I didn't realize it when I had my first doctor's appointment for prolong cough. I didn't realize it when I had first sleepless night because of restlessness. I didn't realize it when my legs trembled while taking a step forward. I didn't realize it when love of my life asked me to leave it. I didn't realize it when my mother looked at me with her wet eyes making thousand wishes to god silently. I didn't realize when my papa scolded me again, which sounded more of a request than a fatherly order. I wish I could have realized it then…. Today my friends are going for a long drive with their wives and kids. They are laughing, yelling, screaming and enjoying like anything. They have satisfaction of what they have achieved till now and are looking forward for more. Love of my life is getting married to someone, but she still has my gifts with her. There is a long queue to get the tickets for the latest released movie. Roads and markets are vacant today because of India-Pakistan in world cup final match. My dad is playing with my sister's one year daughter who has become a fun factor for everyone. My brother is sitting with a girl at coffee corner and trying to impress her. One of my friends is trying his luck for 16th time. I hope this time his love life will take a start. There is joy and happiness all around. Suddenly I see Maa weeping silently while cooking one of my favorite dishes… she mumbled "Ab tak 10 baar poochta… mummy kitni der lagegi … jaldi banao …. Bhookh lagi hai… lekin ab?" …. I saw her and I screamed…" 'Maa' look I am here, look at me... listen to me... "But there was no reaction from her side…. Why??? Today I just can see all this from a distance but cannot be apart of it. Today I have everything that cigarette offered me. I am not stressed anymore. I do not have a sad feeling anymore. I don't need to think about past, present or future. I am relieved. I have freedom. I don't have to listen to all those boring lectures, as I always wanted TO LIVE LIFE BIG… only difference is that the distance between "ME" and the word "LIFE" has become BIG. It's not because of my destiny or I smoked uncountable number of cigarettes but because of the first cigarette that made me fly high that day ….. I AM SIX FEET UNDER THE GROUND today … "A NO SMOKING ZONE"!!!! |
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A letter - Read it
School Master from a remote rural area was transferred to a new School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days after the actual date of joining. Consequently he was asked for an explanation in writing…
Deer sur,
If small small mistakes getting inside my letter, I big you pardon, ass I am not a good englis speaker.This is my fist vijit to Bombai. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following region, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. I tolded I has head ache problem due to migration. Still the clerk rejected to give ticket to I and my sun. I putted a complain on station masterji. He said I to go to the lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed for long time and finally with great difficulty she gave a birth to my sun. Anyway I thanked the station master also because he was phully responsible for getting birth of my sun. Ass a hole it was a bhery diphicult experiment in my hole life.I hope u will look into explain my hole story after, and late me joint first. I am now ending this fastly. I am a waiter for your responsement. May God blast you!” Yours awfully, RAMPRASAD |
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Team Tour to DiveAgar-Harihareshwar
Apr 11-12, 2008
Day 1. Saturday April 11, 2008
The trip started at around 6:30 AM from Pune VimanNagar. We hired a 17 seater Tempo Traveler. The guys were given instruction about picks up points. We had breakfast at around 9:30 Am. Thanks to one of my colleague for his great chutney, poha and idly which he brought from Rajeshwari snack center, near Shaniwarwada. Then we headed towards Diveagar via Paud road-Tamhini-Mangaon. Diveagar is located 155 km from Pune and approx 145 -160 km from Mumbai. There we reached around by 12:30 PM. We had arranged lunch at Mr.Potins residence. A Non-Veg Lunch (Bhakari, Rice, Fish Curry and fish fry) cost us Rs100 and veg lunch Rs 50 per person respectively. The lunch was splendid. Then we went to the place where we had arranged our accommodation. It’s a two storey building .The ground floor has a big hall, a small room , two bath rooms and one toilet .The Top floor consist of 4 family rooms. The house is just 10-15 minutes away from the beach. After placing the luggage, some of us took a small catnap. By 4:00 O’ Clock we left for beach exploration. Beach is beautiful. A perfect weekend destination. View of the sunset is simply superb. Have a look at the photos which I have uploaded, and you will certainly agree with me. Please don’t leave your clothes or any belongings on the sea shore unattended. We faced one incident, where two guys came on bike to steal our luggage, but one of my colleague noticed and immediately ran towards the bag.
By 6:30 we came back. After having a shower, we all gather round in the hall. It’s now time for some true pleasure; I mean its booze time. After few rounds of peg the guys started pulling legs, by cracking jokes at each other. .It went on till 10:00 and by the time, our dinner was ready.
Day 2. Sunday April 12, 2008.
The next day morning we had some poha and lip-smacking masala tea. By 9:00 AM, we all geared up for Harihareshwar. The town of Harihareshwar is well-known for its serene and scenic beach, it is also land marked by Kalbhairav and Shiva temple. It is just 30 Kms. from Diveagar. Harihareshwar is known as Dakshin Kashi (Kashi of Southern India). We reached there by 10:30. The seaside, rocks formation near sea and the temple are worth a’ visit. After enjoying the place, we all were exhausted. We had some kokam and lime juice to cool our selves. Then at 12:30 we had lunch at Rohan resort. Mind you, it’s very expensive and the food was also not of high-quality (except for fish). We left harihareshwar by 1:00 and reached Pune by 6:30
Diveagar: For Lunch Conatct Mr.Potnis Tel.No: 02147224096
For Accommodation contact Mr.Pravin Tel No: 02147202008
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Harihareshwar Beach
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